I wonder if Einstein ever felt himself a fraud? Did the big guy – arguably the greatest mind of the 20th century, if not the second millenia – ever look himself in the mirror after a long day of discussing formulas and variables and think to himself: What do I think I’m doing? What gives me the right to presume I’m correct?

Now, I know that I’m not anywhere near the same league as Einstein. But Einstein has always been a personal hero of mine, someone I’ve looked up to, admired, and studied – not just on a scientific and historical basis, but on a personal one as well. I have a book of letters and essays that Einstein wrote, expressing his views on everyday and world affairs, from religion to politics to food.

So I wonder if Einstein ever questioned how intelligent he really was.

The reason I wonder is because I’ve always questioned myself. I’m just a smart ass 26 year old with a brain that’s too quick for his own good and a mouth that’s perfectly willing to lead him into bad scrapes. And then I come home and I’ve got some fresh victory under my belt and I can’t help but sit and wonder… how the hell did I pull that off?

But then I pull off other victories, other small miracles, and on, and on. And I’m approached by other, more experienced attorneys to ask me questions, and they listen and value my advice – my advice, as if I were some wizened sage, instead of just a lucky rookie with less than two years’ experience on the job. And I find myself not batting an eye and answering questions and offering opinions, and I’m just dreading the day when someone will just pull aside the curtain and reveal me for a trickster fraud.

But that day doesn’t come, and I end up here at home wondering how the hell I pulled it off, wondering if I am a fraud, if the game will ever end.

And so I wonder…