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About the Author

My name is Alejandro Ramos, and I am your host and blogger.  I am much more than this – I am so much more that I myself do not yet know the full extent of what I will someday become.  I could tell you what I am, and I could tell you where I have been, but these things are but facts.  To know me, you should know my writings, experience my thoughts, and converse with me.  I can only tell you what I think of myself – my friends will need to tell you more, and my enemies will be able to tell you the most.

I am a lawyer in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.  I work in the Public Defender Division of the Committee for Public Counsel Services, in the Springfield Superior Court office, which means I handle cases in the Superior Court of Hampden County.  I have won and lost trials, before judges and juries, and I consider myself pretty good at what I do – not the best, certainly, but I’m better than many I’ve seen.  I’ve dealt with hundreds of cases in some of the toughest criminal courts in Massachusetts.  I like to help people, which is why I do what I do.  It’s tacky and a bit on the romantic side, but we give a voice to the voiceless – we help the hopeless, as one of my heroes would put it.

But I am more than a lawyer.  I am a gamer, and I regularly play the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game with my friends.  (Once, in a glorious time before the bar exam took my group away, I played it in person on a regular basis – now I have only two online groups I belong to.  Some day – and that day is sometime in August – those heady glory days will return.)  I have very strong opinions about gaming, and if you ask me whether or not I play Dungeons and Dragons I have to restrain myself from giving you a long rant about where Wizards of the Coast went wrong with 4th Edition, and how my new mistress has treated me just fine and given me everything that I could ever ask for in a game.  As a roleplayer, I consider myself a Simulationist/Narrativist, leaning on the heavy side of Simulationist.  (If you have no idea what that means, I’m sure I will at some point expound on it.  Otherwise, let us move on.)

I play video games, but I don’t play MMOs.  I tried World of Warcraft for a spell, but quickly grew bored of it.  I tried Guild Wars, Dungeons and Dragons Online, City of Heroes andStar Wars Galaxies and also felt pretty bored by the grind of them.  I’ve given up on all MMOs, though I remain hopeful that the future might change that.  (I will admit to trying out the Pathfinder MMO when it comes out, if only because I wish that Paizo Publishing never missteps, and I genuinely believe their sandbox style of game will be productive.)

I’m an existentialist.  I was drawn to existentialism through the show Angel and Joss Whedon, which I think perfectly encapsulated the meaning of life.  In an episode of season 2, the titular hero, having saved the damsel in distress after reaching an Epiphany (that may have been the episode’s title, now that I think about it,) states the following: “If nothing we do [in this world] matters, then the only thing that matters is what we do.”  You might say I suffered a crisis of faith in college – I was raised a Christian, and I hold to many Christian values to this day – and I began to question the meaninglessness of life. Angel, and my later studies into the works of Kierkegaard, Camus, Sartre, and other philosophers, convinced me that I was correct: the world holds no inherent meaning.  Meaning comes from within, which lent a brand spanking new meaning to cogito, ergo sum.

At work they call me the zen master, because I am rarely fazed by anything.  I have an uncanny ability to remain cool under pressure – an ability that I can guarantee you I was not born with.  My friends joke about my nonchalant nature.  I take it, of course, in stride.  Some people take it to mean that I simply don’t care – I disagree with those people.  I care very much, I just don’t always get passionate.

Through the course of the blog, you might hear me refer to the Shadow, the Ghost, or the Warrior.  These are three aspects of my persona, which I have honed and cultivated primarily as defense mechanisms and externalizations of my ego and my id.  The Shadow is a spy – his object is to learn, to observe without being observed, to pass through the world without leaving a trace.  The Ghost is his companion – the ghost echoes, but does not use direct force.  The Ghost is a force of pure intellect.  The Warrior is the counterbalance to the last two – while the Shadow and the Ghost set the trap, the Warrior springs it.  The Warrior lives for conflict and struggle – he is rarely satiated without a good tussle.  I am all three, and yet… increasingly I find that I am more.  Perhaps more aspects will begin to show themselves in the future, and I will codify them.

But that’s enough about me.